The Great Stapler Standoff: A Tale of Office Drama and Paper Clips
Listening is a skill I’ve spent years working on, and one particular workplace mediation taught me just how powerful -and occasionally ridiculous -it can be when you get it right.
I was called in to mediate a heated dispute between two colleagues over, of all things, a stapler. Yes, a stapler. At first glance, it sounded like a minor squabble, but little did I know it was about to reveal some serious workplace dynamics.
And not just any stapler -this was a giant, bright orange stapler. The kind of stapler that screamed for attention every time someone entered the open-plan office. It wasn’t just a tool; it was practically a character in the room, and it had become the unlikely focal point of workplace drama.
Karen insisted the stapler had to stay on her desk. “I use it constantly,” she said. “Having it here is practical, and it saves me so much time. I don’t understand why this is such a big deal.”
Tom, however, couldn’t stand it. “It’s an open-plan office,” he argued. “Desks are shared spaces. That thing is an eyesore and throws off the entire look of the workspace. Why does it have to be on your desk?”
Unpacking the Real Issues
As I let them vent, it became clear that the stapler wasn’t the real problem.
For Karen, the stapler represented control in an otherwise chaotic workday. “It’s not just a stapler,” she admitted. “It’s one small thing I can keep consistent in a sea of deadlines and last-minute changes.”
For Tom, the stapler symbolised a lack of respect for shared spaces. “It’s not about the stapler itself,” he said. “It’s about decisions being made unilaterally, with no consideration for how they impact the rest of us.”
This is where listening becomes invaluable-not just hearing the words but digging deeper to uncover the underlying needs. Karen needed a sense of control and order in her day. Tom needed to feel respected and included in shared decisions. Once these needs were identified, the conflict suddenly became more manageable.
The Breakthrough
After an hour of spirited back-and-forth, Tom finally blurted out, “You know what? I don’t even use staplers. I prefer paper clips! I just don’t want to see that neon monstrosity sitting there every day!” Karen burst out laughing. “Paper clips? You mean you’ve been arguing with me over a stapler you don’t even use?”
The tension dissolved, and even Tom started laughing. That moment of humour allowed them both to step back and see the absurdity of the situation. They realised the stapler wasn’t the issue -it was the deeper frustrations and unspoken feelings it represented.
The Resolution
With cooler heads prevailing, they agreed on a solution: the orange stapler would be moved to a neutral location-a communal supply drawer accessible to everyone. Karen could grab it when she needed it, and Tom no longer had to endure its fluorescent glare on her desk.
More importantly, they committed to improving their communication. Karen promised to be more mindful of shared spaces, while Tom acknowledged the need to voice his concerns earlier rather than letting them build up into stapler-level drama.
The Lesson
This mediation taught me two things. First, even the smallest disagreements-like where to keep a stapler-can uncover much deeper issues when you take the time to listen. Second, humour is a powerful tool for breaking tension. A shared laugh can turn a heated conflict into a moment of connection, paving the way for a meaningful resolution.
Most importantly, it reinforced to me that real resolution happens when you get to the underlying needs driving the conflict. Once Karen and Tom felt their needs-control for Karen and respect for Tom- were acknowledged, the solution became clear.
So, the next time you encounter a seemingly trivial workplace argument, take a step back and really listen. Because sometimes, the stapler isn’t just a stapler, and even a paper clip enthusiast can have their voice heard.