The Golden Rule with Digital Communication

I recently conducted a mediation between two parties whose issues stemmed from a digital communication breakdown. The issues started when *Tom sent an email to *Lucy at 9.30pm one evening about a work matter, the subject of which is not relevant here. Lucy was horrified that Tom had sent her an email late at night as she felt her personal time and space had been infringed. She also thought that the tone of the email was abrupt and disrespectful. In no uncertain terms, she let Tom know how she felt about the late-night email via return of email.

These two emails set off a chain of events that ultimately led to a fracture in their relationship that began to impact the entire workplace. The CEO became involved and eventually called for a mediation to resolve the issues between the parties. It is noted that Tom and Lucy are very high up in the organisation and are extremely smart, capable individuals.

What was interesting to me was that the dispute was created through emails alone. Before the email storm, they had had a respectful, cordial working relationship. The two parties were ultimately able, with my help, to work through their issues and restore their working relationship.

The intention of my article is to point out that with the dramatic changes in day-to-day communication due to the rapid move to remote work, there has been a blurring of lines between personal and work boundaries. There has also been a disconnect in communication because we lose a lot when we speak digitally and not personally. 

We need to be mindful of how we interact with others, and this is as important when we do so online as when we do so in person or on the phone. Even though you are sitting behind a screen, your words are being read by real people, all deserving of respectful communication. Watch your tone. Watch the words you use as you don’t know how they will be construed. It is a good idea to incorporate empathy into your online communication. By this, I mean don’t just unilaterally make decisions or give feedback or orders without encouraging two-way interaction, a give and take to make it work. Importantly, if you are unsure of the intent of a written or digital communication, pick up the phone and make contact as this in most cases will clear up any miscommunication.  

 In regards to sending an email out after hours, we are all different people with different priorities, commitments and timelines. Some of us may find it beneficial to work late at night. If not in breach of company policy, it is a good idea to simply say at the bottom of your email that you don’t expect a reply outside of regular working hours.

Simply put, be respectful of others. The golden rule is always to do unto others as you would have others do unto you, and we need to adhere to this motto now more than ever before. 

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.