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Advice for employees experiencing bullying in the workplace
While it seems that in today’s socially conscious world, many progressive organisations are trying their best to eradicate bullying and are moving towards adopting zero-tolerance policies towards bullying, bullying still appears to be pervasive in Australian workplaces.
As a workplace mediator and investigator, I often come across situations where bullying is clearly present in a workplace yet has not been reported to the organisation. There are various reasons for this, and probably the most typical is that the employee is fearful that if they do report it, things will worsen for them, not improve, or they are fearful that it could jeopardise their position in the organisation. Another reason is that the employee has no idea that the behaviour they are experiencing actually amounts to bullying. Other reasons include not knowing whom to report it to or how to go about reporting it, or maybe the employee is hoping that if they ignore it, ultimately it will go away (which is rarely the case).
What is workplace bullying?
Bullying at work is when a person/a group of people repeatedly act unreasonably towards an employee/group of employees, and their behaviour creates a risk to the employees/s health and safety.
Workplace bullying occurs in many forms including face-to-face, on the phone, email, social media, or via texts. It can happen to volunteers, work experience students, interns, apprentices, casual and permanent employees.
Some examples of bullying at work:
- insulting, abusive or offensive language or comments;
- spreading rumours, gossip or innuendo;
- threatening phone calls or text messages;
- physical abuse like pushing, hitting, grabbing;
- unjustified criticism or complaints;
- teasing, practical jokes or initiation practices;
- giving you meaningless tasks or constantly overloading you with work;
- sexual harassment, such as unwelcome touching and sexually explicit comments and requests that make you uncomfortable
Effects of bullying
There are serious mental health issues that commonly arise from bullying such as depression, exhaustion, suicidal thoughts. Of course, these effects have a knock-on effect on the organisation in terms of sick leave, less productive employees and a higher turnover of employees.
What is not workplace bullying
Not all behaviour which an employee believes is unfair or makes an employee feel upset or undervalued is workplace bullying.
Your employer can:
- give you feedback on your performance, in a reasonable way;
- discipline, counsel, retrench or dismiss you (if they are acting reasonably and per your employment contract)
- occasional isolated incidents in the workplace, for example, if someone loses their temper or shouts or swears;
- Differences of opinion and disagreements are also not generally regarded as workplace bullying. However, it’s important to note that when conflict is not managed effectively, it may escalate to the point where it becomes workplace bullying.
What is your employer’s responsibility re bullying?
Employers have a duty of care for their employee’s health and wellbeing while at work. An employer that allows bullying to occur in the workplace is not meeting this responsibility.
Do bystanders have a responsibility?
Everyone has a moral responsibility to help create a positive, safe workplace. If someone in your workplace is experiencing bullying or harassment, you are encouraged to provide them with support and assistance.
Steps to follow if you are being bullied at work:
- Get your hands on your company’s bullying policy and complaints procedure which should outline how your organisation will respond to workplace bullying.
- If you feel safe and comfortable to do so, calmly tell the other person that you object to their behaviour and tell them they need to stop it immediately. It is possible that they have no idea the impact their behaviour is having on you, and your feedback on their behaviour may give them the opportunity to change their actions. If you don’t feel safe or comfortable to do this, you can ask someone else to be in the meeting with you such as a trusted work colleague.
- If you are unsure how to approach this person or if you are uncertain whether the behaviour you have been experiencing is workplace bullying, contact your manager directly (if they aren’t the person bullying you which is a typical scenario) or someone more senior than them in your team. You could also speak to a health and safety representative, or someone in the HR department. Do this as early as possible.
- You need to lodge a written report or complaint to your employer about the bullying as per the workplace policies and procedures. It is then up to the organisation to deal with and manage your complaint effectively.
- Keep a diary to record all incidents of the bullying. Documenting everything that happens, including what you’ve done to try to stop it. It’s essential to retain all evidence which will back up your claims which can include letters, emails, screenshots of social media posts or texts.
- Consider whether anyone else has witnessed the bullying and approach them to see if they will support you during this process.
More formal steps if bullying not resolved
If you believe your employer hasn’t taken sufficient action, then it may be time to consider seeking help outside of your organisation.
- Apply to the Fair Work Commission for a stop-bullying order which is an option for you if the national law covers you on bullying.
- If the bullying is discriminatory because it is based on a particular personal characteristic such as sexual orientation, disability, race, age etc. you can make a complaint to the Australian Human Rights Commission or your state or territory anti-discrimination body.
- If a bully has threatened you or physically or sexually assaulted you, you can report this to police.
- If the bullying involved physical or mental harm and you had to take time off, you may be able to claim workers’ compensation.
- Other options:
- If you belong to a union, you can talk to them to see if they will assist.
- Get legal advice to explore your rights.
Links to organisations you might find useful:
Saranne Segal is the Director of Segal Mediation Group in Sydney Australia. She is a workplace mediation and investigation expert and has worked as a lawyer previously.
Busting an HR Myth
Recently, I was lucky enough to interview Paris Cutler, an entrepreneur and strategist whose organisation went through many months of conflict and disharmony. What struck me most from the interview was her acknowledgement that she was unsure about how to deal with the toxicity that had arisen in her workplace together with the uncertainty of what was causing it.
Paris was ultimately shocked to discover that insidious bullying was taking place. This interview reinforced what I have already learnt in my experience as a workplace mediator and investigator. That is that bullying in the workplace is often messy. It is not always cut and dried, and it is often very difficult to assess where the disharmony is coming from. Paris believes that calling in a workplace investigator from the get-go would have solved her months of angst and eliminated the bullying almost immediately.
I hope you find the interview as informative as I did.
A brief description of the type of business you were in, your position and how you came to discover that bullying was present in your business?
I owned a designer cake shop which at its peak had over 50 staff, the largest cake decorating school in the southern hemisphere, celebrity clientele, books, and our TV Show; it was a nationally recognised brand.
At the peak of the business, I had some long-standing employees and promoted one of those employees to Production Head of our kitchen, it was an unpopular decision, but I felt the best one for the business as she was the most qualified and professional.
The initial problem was never presented to me as bullying; it was given to me as personality differences. All the employees involved had worked for me for many years, and I never suspected any of them of bullying. However, several employees started to complain to me about the new Production Manager.
Complaints covered many different things that she was surly, lazy and that no-one respected her, also that the quality of her work was deteriorating (which it was). Eventually, I had a meeting with the Production Manager to discuss all these complaints, she was very defensive and hostile and said it was the staff, she didn’t get along with them, I was very unsatisfied with her response and quite irritated with her lack of effort to address the issue.
It went on for months, the complaints, the atmosphere in the kitchen was toxic, it was driving me bonkers, I asked other staff what was going on, no-one knew anything. I tried various techniques to get them working nicely together and to sort out their differences, and eventually, I came very close, within a couple of weeks of firing/demoting the Production Manager, I thought she was the main problem.
Then just before I demoted her one of the three main instigators of the complaints complained about the new production manager in a way that didn’t feel right to me, a little light bulb went off. I went back to the Production Manager and asked her directly if she thought she was being bullied, and I asked more detailed questions about the behaviour. To my horror the person I thought was the problem, was the victim, it was a textbook bullying case, right under my nose and I had no idea.
What was the impact of the bullying – both for you personally, the victim and for the workplace as a whole?
It had a terrible and lasting impact; the victim suffered for the months it went on, she was unhappy, depressed and stressed, often crying before and after work. When I discovered what had happened, I paid for ten weeks with a psychologist to help her heal from her ordeal. Unfortunately, because I was unaware initially that these three staff members were bullying her, no evidence was collected for a dismissal. I had to ride it out for two long years, managing their behaviour until I could get rid of all three of them on legal grounds; this caused me two years of maximum stress.
The workplace took sides because the bullies had taken over the kitchen. It took me years to get the culture of the kitchen to a good point again; the ring leader had poisoned the culture, I even found new people would be affected by it after only a couple of weeks. It was literally like rooting out cancer from the consciousness of the business, I cannot overstate it, it was terrible, and it tested me as a leader, that sounds dramatic, but it was so corrosive.
Why was it so difficult to determine who the bully was?
Because they don’t want to be discovered, and they have a completely different face for management and anyone who would be a useful ally to them, in this case, me. The bullies in my business were, in my opinion, some of my best employees, they had worked with me for a long time, bought me birthday presents, we laughed together, I trusted them. There were three of them, two young men and an older lady in her fifties. The two young men were brash, young and could be abrasive, the older lady was sweet and motherly, I assumed it was the young men, I fired each of them, and still, the problem remained. It turned out to be the older lady she continued to manipulate the kitchen long after I dismissed her, her lust for power and control was insatiable, she indeed was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and she destroyed those young men’s careers in the process.
What do you think led to the bullying behaviour of your employee?
The older lady who was the main bully had seniority, not just in age but as a cake artist she was superior to the person I promoted and made production manager. She was also lazy, a poor people manager and didn’t want to work full time. However, she resented my pick for a production manager and set out systematically to destroy her. It was the first time in my life that I understood that some people just want power for powers sake, just like people want sex, drugs or money, she wanted power, she tried to control that kitchen, she didn’t want to be a manager with all the responsibility and accountability, she wanted to be the kitchen mob boss.
In hindsight, do you think you/management handled the situation correctly? What would you do differently today?
I handled it appallingly because I was unable to understand it was bullying we didn’t collect evidence to get rid of them, this made the situation worse for a further two years. I have forgiven myself because the victim also did not give me enough information to go on. However, in the future, if I were ever presented with a confusing situation again, I would get an external investigator, straight away! If I had fired the Production Manager or demoted her, I would have been legally libel possibly for tens of thousands of dollars and left with the bullies to destroy my business.
What would your advice be today to a leader/manager about how to respond to bullying and to inspire a positive workplace culture?
I worked out that transparent values-based culture, with a zero tolerance policy for certain behaviours, was essential. Policy around what should happen if bullying occurs is a must and educating everyone, from staff to management about appropriate action and legal responsibility. I think bringing in outside experts also helps, to teach and to provide someone who has not been charmed by bullies in the business, I guess everyone forgets, bullies don’t go around with a big sign on their heads, they are often well-liked and very charming.
What would your advice be to someone who is being bullied at work?
Firstly I want to state that I have never met a business owner, CEO or HR Manager that condones bullying; it’s terrible for business and undermines us as leaders so don’t feel as if no one cares, I would argue that most managers do. However, the problem is it’s a very serious complaint, and in order to help you, we need to have as much evidence as you can provide us with. Therefore if you think you are being bullied, you need to look up the legal definition of bullying (or/and company policy) and see if the behaviour you are experiencing is a match. Getting feedback on your work performance is not bullying; however consistent daily put-downs and exclusion are. Keep a diary for one-two months documenting the behaviour. Then when you make a complaint to management use explicit language so that management understands what is happening. Such as ‘I am being bullied’, describe the behaviour, tell them how often it occurs, how it makes you feel, present your diary, and inform them you wish to make a formal complaint, make sure you keep notes of the meeting. If you don’t have an appropriate response within a month escalate it further, keep records of everything. If no-one takes any notice, escalate it again.
What signs should an employer be looking for- for signs of bullying behaviour or inappropriate workplace behaviour?
Firstly unless you get a specific complaint that a person is being bullied, you probably will just be presented with a messy, confusing bunch of claims which initially sound like personality differences and pettiness. That’s the problem; everyone believes that employers are presented with cut and dry cases; the truth is we are usually presented with a mess. So if you are confused, or if there is discord there that cannot be explained, or if the culture is toxic, and you cannot find the root cause. Get an external investigation to sort it out, a few thousand dollars will clear everything up and provide a course of action to turn it around, as well as mitigate your legal liability and potentially prevent the suffering of innocent staff members, don’t take it all on board yourself, get help!
4 Reasons Companies Ignore Workplace Bullying
As a workplace mediator and investigator, I am often called in by organisations to help resolve a conflict which has arisen between employees. I commonly find that by the time I am called in, the matter has escalated from a relatively minor workplace bullying incident, into a full-blown dispute between the parties. The escalation of the issue is commonly a result of the victim not lodging a formal complaint against the bully. Another common cause of the escalation is that bullying is often messy and chaotic, and it is sometimes difficult for the company to ascertain precisely who the perpetrator and victim are. It’s therefore understandable why the bullying hasn’t been addressed earlier, and it certainly doesn’t help to point blame at either party. The only undisputed fact is that if left unattended, bullying will escalate to the point where the workplace culture will be impacted detrimentally.
Considering this, I believe that it’s essential for the victim report the bullying as early as possible and in conjunction with this, the company needs to address the issue effectively as soon as it is brought to its attention.
There are however companies that despite the victim reporting the bullying do not act adequately in the circumstances if at all. Given the substantial cost to a company of failing to address the issue, the question turns to why they have been unable to act? In my dealings as a workplace mediator and investigator, I have identified four common reasons why bullying is not addressed by companies:
1. Denial
The hope that the bullying is a temporary issue that will sort itself out, a ‘let’s sweep it under the carpet and hope it disappears’ kind of approach. Sometimes too, the victim is perceived as being weak, or a poor employee in not being able to sort out their own problems and the company may hope that the employee ultimately resigns, which rectifies the problem without company intervention.
My advice is to stop the denial and realise that no-one deserves to be treated in a way that makes them feel humiliated, diminished or threated. The company needs to intervene and take charge of the issue in a fair, professional way. It’s also crucial for the company to realise that ignoring bullying doesn’t make it go away, but it does make your other employees go away – even the ones who aren’t the victims. You will most likely start to lose more employees if this strategy of ignoring the issue is not changed.
2. The Bottom-line
The company is so focused on its bottom-line of the organisation that they ignore how their results are achieved. Sometimes organisations will willingly sacrifice a harmonious workplace culture to please shareholders, customers or stakeholders. Sometimes too, the best performing employees don’t live by the same rules as everyone else. They believe that they are so valuable to the organisation in terms of profits that they can treat people in an undermining way and because the company doesn’t want to lose them, they let them get away with that behaviour to the determinant of the rest of the organisation. The company needs to realise that this may work in the short-term, but ultimately disrespectful behaviour such as workplace bullying will breed and develop until the entire workplace culture has been affected. All employees need to be treated alike in terms of following the workplace policies of accepted standards of behaviour.
3. Fear of Conflict
Certainly, some people, more than others, have a real fear of confrontation and this usually extends to both their personal and work lives. They could fear the bully’s response to the allegations against them. It could be that the company is fearful of opening a Pandora’s box of liability issues and possible lawsuits. It could also involve being afraid of making a mistake in the handling of the bullying complaint.
We often hear advice on how to tell children to deal with schoolyard bullies – “stand up to the bully, face them head on, be courageous” because bullies do not like to be challenged or confronted. It may sound very simplistic, but you need to deal with workplace bullies in much the same way. It will involve practising personal courage, but if you can do this, it will lead to a change in the bully’s behaviour, and you will hopefully regain your conflict-free workplace. However, you must take that step. The bullying will not stop by itself. If you tolerate the bully’s behaviour, you are allowing the bully to continue with their unacceptable behaviour.
4. Ignorance
Companies often lack the training, tools, and/or policy to tackle bullying head-on. There needs to be a focus on developing a positive leadership style by providing training for managers to communicate effectively with employees. Providing constructive feedback to employees, building teamwork skills, mentoring poorly performing managers and making sure all managers act on unreasonable behaviour immediately are all ways to ensure bullying has no place in your business.
I am constantly surprised by how many organisations lack comprehensive or updated workplace bullying policies which establish guidelines and processes for employees to lodge complaints, have their claims investigated and managed by the organisation. The polices should also contain clear standards of behaviour that are expected and the processes to follow if these are not met.
Companies, therefore, shouldn’t be judged too harshly when bullying complaints are not adequately addressed when they first come to light – it is common, and it is understandable from the reasons discussed above. It can sometimes seem an almost insurmountable problem to overcome because it has been left unaddressed for so long. I have, however, been involved in many toxic, bullying situations which have indeed been turned around – with a strong leadership commitment and some professional intervention. There are steps you can take to address it, BUT you need to stop the ignorance, stop the fear, stop the denial and stop the focus on the bottom line, and only then will it become clear how to deal effectively with it.
If you are a CEO, Director or Manager what should you do now?
- Foster a culture of transparency and accountability and clean house if necessary – Open communication is a vital aspect of any successful organisation. Transparency and accountability help foster a culture of safety and respect and is a critical step in addressing bullying and other inappropriate workplace behaviours. The first step towards transparency is establishing or revising respectful workplace policies to include bullying and other inappropriate behaviours explicitly. To hold employees accountable may mean cleaning house of bullying transgressors – no matter their position – as this is a powerful signal that indicates there will be no tolerance of this sort of behaviour. Silence is consent. If you are working with an individual/s that perpetuate unacceptable behaviour, you are part of the problem.
- Deal with complaint/s within a strict timeframe – Very rarely do these sorts of complaints go away by themselves. I urge organisations to act promptly before the incident escalates and permeates the rest of the team or organisation. This means dealing with these complaints or behaviours within established timelines. I commonly refer to this timeframe as the ‘30-day window’© as I have in my experience typically found that if a bullying complaint is dealt with satisfactorily by HR/Management within this time frame, it can be regarded as resolved.I find that when an organisations response to a complaint extends beyond the 30-day period, then things start to go awry as a lack of trust and confidence in the organisation starts taking hold in the employee and the organisation increasingly opens itself up to some form of legal liability. For example, once trust and confidence have broken down, it is common for the employee to talk to a workplace lawyer, speak to other employees, take to social media to voice their grievance or concerns, and even to start recording conversations on their phones.
- Bring in an expert – For any matters that could be legally libellous for the company and any complaints not resolved to the complainant’s satisfaction within the ‘30-day window’ bring in an external expert. Why an external expert? Because so many organisations lack the training, tools and legal expertise to mitigate legal liability, often increasing their liability and damage to the victim in their attempts to manage the bully or investigate the matter internally. It is also very common for HR to feel conflicted in their role- when acting in the best interests of the organisation, they may think that they are forced to do things that support workplace bullying or be placed in a complicated situation. Therefore, it makes sense to bring in an independent, external workplace investigator/mediator to mitigate legal liability, manage the alleged victims and perpetrators and assess the risk to the organisation and make recommendations for resolution.
Bullying is detrimental to a company’s ability to achieve its full potential and to build a positive workplace culture. Thus, the last thing a company should want or need is for its employees to feel that the company is tolerating such unacceptable behaviour. It is time for organisations to step up and deal with these issues head-on. It will take courage, persistence and a long-term plan of action but once in place, you will be grateful that you have committed to this when you are rewarded with motivated, productive employees who are working at their best for their companies.
Saranne Segal is the Director of Segal Mediation Group in Sydney Australia. She is a workplace mediation and investigation expert and has worked as a lawyer previously. Please call her for a free confidential 30 min Risk Review session details via LinkedIn or segalconflictsolutions.com.au
Please contact Segal Conflict Solutions on 02 8036 5558 / 0413 532 353 / saranne@segalconflictsolutions.com.au
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